deep thoughtz 007: DOPETHRONE BY ELECTRIC WIZARD + A CEREMONY OF PIFF AND CHAOS
hwell howdy there, pardna! y not take off a load here, a bit of rest n respite from the rest of the blogosphere. Me n my homies that only i can c have been celebratin another end of semesters n seasons with one of the G R E A T E S T, H A R D E S T albums ever created. Ever heard of slayer? periphery? BARONESS??? nothin but STAINS upon our ears. It's unacFUCKINGcceptable, the state of metal in 2020. We must separate ourselves from false ideology and embrace a life of pho and ayahuasca. We must turn... to DOPETHRONE
ahh... smell that air... not a pantera fan in sight
Is this the greatest album ever created? perhaps, perhaps... i remember this as my first step into the puddle that is auditory noise. Everything before in life had been a game, this was the real deal. Ear splitting feedback blew from my speakers into my virgin ears and now i listen to Japanese noisecore on my way to the plug, smilin the whole way.
Y should u care about any of this shit anyway? Not like u kno me or anything! Well the answer, reader, is r i f f s...
if u ain't comin wit the riffs u can gtfoutta my auditions for the talent show
Ho-ry chit folks, this album comes with the riffs from the beginning through the mountains of sound that lead into the end. Except of course for those minutes of bong-like ooo sounds on weird tales and some versions of i, the witchfinder. shit sounds like somethin from Munch's Oddysee or somethin, really unlocked a deep memory from da vault here. Every song is a banger, every bass line pulled from the darkest dungeon, every snap upon the skin of a drum a four plate bench press, every riff naturally grooved and bent to the will of Satan, every shout produced from a tin can of a microphone. Stoner metal may b literally the most derivative genre of music ever conceived under the sun and Bl*ck S*bb*th a revolting group of sell out christian cockz, but the stars aligned on the millennium and for once something productive came of rapid fire bonghits.
Now don't kid yoselfs, dear readerz, this album will likely sound like utter shit upon hearing the first track. "Chiang Mai Elvis lied to us?!?!?!" u may think, but u r fools for thinking such things and i will deal with u when u have those thoughtz accordingly. i never lie to my readers, even when i do. if u c me lyin to my readers, no i didn't. What u r hearing is not shit, it is sludge there is a great difference between the two. Avoid shit at all costs, embrace sludge where u can. Live in the amplified soundwaves that crash down upon you, experience the sensation of slowly finding the rhythm within that wall of noise, make love with the knowledge of a world far beyond the limits of reality. Music sounds better slowed down, u realize as u wake up dazed and confused having returned from whatever 3e D&D dream campaign u were planning wit ur homies.
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